A lot of stuff has been happening... and I'm not even sure how to begin
So I'm really busy. You know how you say "I'm busy" but really aren't? Well, that's not me. I'm not complaining but all this stuff has piled into a giant ball of suck for me for my health. I'm sick and it's the fourth time this year. Do you even KNOW what that feels like for me? I'm never sick while at university - maybe a couple days here and there and now, it's not even June and I've had 4 different ailments, 3 of which have made me skip work. It's not like I adore work and want to be there every moment but I don't like missing it. Work piles up - and I haven't even been there for 3 months!
So on that note, I'll mention work. I was a Underwriting Technical Assistant for Markel, pretty much a niche market insurer for Northbridge which is part of the ever-huge Fairfax Holdings corporation. Yeah I was basically an ant in one little anthill of the big backyard. It was good! I liked the job although I wasn't really going to be moving anywhere fast. The jobs afforded me time to do things at my own pace and if I wasn't busy, I could do other things. The people were pretty young and generally cool - although I didn't really click with a lot of them. It was a good environment nonetheless. I should email them sometime. Oh yeah, so I'm not there if you haven't gathered. I got a call from Sunlife and after a weird interview process, I got another position there instead. I pretty much chalk it up to God being crazy provident - although that's a concept I'm still digesting. I didn't outwardly apply again (I applied back when I was unemployed) but it just all-of-a-sudden happened! I have to thank my former youth pastor and a lady from my church for seriously putting things together for me. My new position is basically a Junior Underwriter for Group Benefits in Western Canada. It's pretty much a step up in terms of my old position and it's a step ahead for future career objectives but we'll see where that turns out. It's not like I've done this before, so I figure God's sort of seeing stuff through for me while I do my best.
So about that God, heaven ... and religion too. So I know I believe in God. I trust that Jesus Christ is my personal Lord and saviour and all the jazz that is that. I suppose in a way, at least for the past year, I haven't really been feeling the Spirit working in me. I was called out on it and challenged - deal with it or there will be consequences, the least of which he would lose respect for me. I mentioned last month I would finish The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee. Suffice to say, I broke my word. I didn't - however, this book is crazy! I don't know if I'm dense or stupid or just plain tired when I read it but I have to reread chapters sometimes. I read a section, think about if I took anything out and go back, because I know he's saying so much more! It's written in more of a conversationalist style than the organized essayist style of most books but it certainly gets to the point. I would totally recommend it. I can see some changes in my life already, seeing how I was dry to now brimming. I try to see things from a Kingdom perspective and rethink things to allow God to transform my vision. We'll see where it goes from there. Especially since I'm leading in softball this year.
Softball So DMM is back for a 3rd season and I'm back at the helm, although I really have to say God's put things together. We weren't going to have a team but things came together, people joined and we're doing what we can. The team is different from the previous years but it's good, a lot of experienced players mixed in with some newbies, as well as more SCAC people mixed with new faces. Skill wise I think we're on track but honestly, I can't care about that. The one thing I am REALLY excited about is seeing how God uses us for his ministry this summer. Enoch as governor is pretty crazy. He's really ambitious and God uses it to work into us something good, great even.
We've moved! So my parents decided that they wanted out of RH and thus, we've moved down to Willowdale and Cummer. It's pretty much 10 minutes from the subway so it's not going to be a problem getting to work. If anything, Metropasses will abound! The new place isn't as big or as NICE as the old place, and I'll certainly miss the old place having lived there for 22 years, but it's got potential. Maybe in a few months it'll be good to go for some getogethers and maybe I'll get a grill. Too many maybes! Moving has seriously tired me out though, and my dad has cheaped out on some stuff where my mom and I are almost pissed off about it. Whatever. It's partially why I'm also going to be partially living with my brother. Yes, I'm moving to the beaches. Actually, technically I've already moved my STUFF there but I'm not living there yet. You see, I'm sitting in the floor of my barren room with my stuff in boxes laid about hunched over my mom's laptop. I look forward to living in the beaches though. When I say beaches though, I mean 5 minutes from the water near Woodbine and Queen. It's pretty ridiculous. I can't wait for stuff like Jazz festival or something!
Concerts I went to Jason Mraz in late April. Have I ever told you I really do like him? I liked him before all others KNEW about him. I recommended him to my don in first year and it was great seeing him LIVE finally! From You and I, stuff from Curbside Prophet, to Mr. A-Z (although no Wordplay/Geek in the Pink) Mr. Mraz did not disappoint. Honestly I was worried I'd be paying 34 bucks to see an overglorified version of "I'm Yours" but I'm glad there was more substance to it. It was weird seeing everyone at the concert too - although I had bought tickets for half of them. Yes I paid 34 bucks althogh Ticketmaster tried to charge me 42. Ticketmaster is tehsux. L2buytickets?
I've basically just updated my life and stuff. I'll actually write more in terms of deeper thought when I can. Things are hectic. You can check my google calendar to get a clue.
I need a laptop. What's good? What should I be looking for? specs? Sham said he'd try to hook me up but I don't know if I want to trouble the guy.
I'm going to finish this book in less than 48 hours. God will be my strength. Perhaps I've approached him all wrong these past few months or more. I pray I become a changed man.
The nails in your hands The nail in your feet, They tell me how much you love me The thorns in your brow, They tell me how, you bore so much pain to love me.
And when the heavens pass away, all your scars will still remain, and forever they will say, (just) how much you love me. Forever my love, Forever my heart Forever my life, it's yours, it's yours.
There's a recording I have on my computer from ages ago. It's up there as one of my favourite worship songs on my computer (along with Passion One Day Live's Amazing Love, We Fall Down and Heart of Worship) for it's sheer simplicity. It's one guitar and one voice going at it - labelled MercyMe, although this dates from way before I can only Imagine. Whenever Easter rolls around, I tend to give a thought to this song, among others, because it means a little more to me than most songs. I've learnt much of my initial spirituality from song reflection and lyrical dissection, matching with biblical synchronized verses and whatnot. This song stuck out because of it's references to the scars that Christ bears and will bear until the end of time. Evidence that he is magnificent and that we, in our false pride and raw humility, are unworthy to be saved - yet have been because of the redeeming work of his blood. I picture Thomas in a darkened and dim room, light streaming from boarded up windows vehemently denying Christ's fulfillment of the prophecy only to break down in tears, "My Lord and My God!" What evidence do we need but that we live free and that we are called to love him with every atom of our being. Forever my love - forever my heart - forever my life - it's all his. Until the end of time.
Anyways, the song rolls into All to Jesus, I surrender, another old favourite. A nice blend because of the previous song's sacrifice and thus calling us to give our lives, which is not ours to truly give.
All to Jesus I surrender, All to Him I freely give; I will ever love and trust Him, In His presence daily live.
I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender, Humbly at His feet I bow, Worldly pleasures all forsaken; Take me, Jesus, take me now.
I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
All to Jesus I surrender, Lord, I give myself to Thee; Fill me with Thy love and power, Let Thy blessing fall on me.
I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all.
I don't think I need to say anything. I don't think I've ate myself blind as many times as I did (I count four within a 36-hour span). I don't believe I've done something as ridiculous and allowed myself to be videotaped for the second time until now. I don't think I've ever enjoyed the idea of thievery as much as when we realized what had happened. I don't believe we survived that snow waiting for that stupid bus. I don't believe I went through that many pairs of socks (they say Montreal had 45cm of snow in the period that we were on the island. Yes, we felt it. It made the trip that much better). I don't believe that it cost what it did. I don't believe I've hated a game more than tetris with you guys. I don't believe I did that handstand. I don't believe that we did what we did. It was un-freaking-believable.
(Yes, it does look like a snowflake is lodging itself into my nose. Of that I am well aware)
You guys better post. Pictures too. I'm looking at you sarak.
Copacetic - very satisfactory, fine A word with no known origins, it's a funny thought that no one can really know where it came from. One day, people started using it and we all sort of understood, and from there, it just spread in the undercurrents of society until people know it and use it, without knowing where it came from.
It's a pretty good medley they've put together to support their candidate and it's fitting because Obama is the type that would win over the youth, the youtube generation and those other minority types. Personally, I think I would vote for Hillary or at least, that's what I would lean towards. It just doesn't seem like Barack Obama is as ready to take the reins - speaking from an outsiders POV. While America needs strong leadership, they also need strong policy making - something that I'm not quite sure he'll provide. One thing he will be able to do is provide a sense of unity for the displaced and those who are overlooked. I suppose we'll see how it goes. It's not like Canada has any say in this.
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Not so Manifest Destiny(link to wiki of term) So I thought the Patriots would take it all the way and achieve perfection, something that would somehow find some sort of harmony in my soul. From a longtime, not in the least hardcore, Patriots fan (I inherited a jacket when I was 6 that God knows what happened to), I really wanted it. I mean, since when do somany things happen for them that seems so... perfect? Acquiring Wes Welker or Randy Moss for less than market value and spare change. The game was hardly up to par. Other than the Patriots driving down their initial offense for a TD, they sucked for the whole middle of the game. Only when The Giants took the lead to start the fourth did things get interesting. By then though, the Patriots were too late and too inflexible to turn on their offensive machine. Their touchdown was not hardly enough, coupled especially with that jaw dropping pass to Tyree. It was one of those "Oh my Crap! Did you SEE that?"-type of passes where you say "THEY HAD THAT QB'S JERSEY. IN.THEIR.HANDS! How did he GET AWAY?" to "Where the hell did he just come from? How did he GET that?" I really can't figure it out. I'm almost upset when I think back to that moment. Everything was perfect and clear until that game. It seems to just crumble into "they were 18-0, where did taht 1 come from?" It was something that I thought could have been done. When I thought about the 2007-8 Patriots, I thought about that term, Manifest Destiny, and how it was how the American pioneers would consider it their calling from God to settle and absorb the Midwest and West into their Christian culture. A sense that the annexation and Americanization of Oregon and Texas was acceptable (which is funny because it was the Giants, not the Patriots who knocked out the Cowboys) of that time was paralleled that the idea for some that the New England Patriots could finish with a perfect season. Sort of ruins the thought of perfection when they lost. Oh well. I hear Memphis is kicking ass in the NCAA
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This is why I think Canada should stay in Afghanistan
Let me preclude my raving with a statement that I don't know anyone in the war. I haven't seen death at my door as those soldiers do and I probably do live a sheltered, semi-charmed kind of life.
In one article I've read, they say you shouldn't get into Afghanistan because fighting there is just going to be too hard. If things were too hard, would that be reason enuogh not to do it? Columbus and other explorers crossing the ocean cost lives, and he still did it and now people immigrate from the rest of the world to live in one of the most prosperous societies ever. Afghanistan is about hope and giving up on it would be a sign that we're afraid of becoming hopeful. We are afraid of living lives that stand for integrity, justice and everything like that. Instead, we cower in the face of uncertainty and let the bullies of the world run amuck because they're "over there" and "not hurting us - yet". The drug lords that grow the worlds opium and heroin are over there but where do we get the drugs that flood our streets? We cannot allow those who live around us to dictate what we can and cannot do because of what they overlook and allow. Afghanistan was unwinnable for the great Soviet Russia power that invaded in the 1970s and thus unwinnable now? NATO is the alliance of those who prevailed over the Soviets, that pushed back against the tyranny of the world and has once again banded against the Afghan insurrection. What so Canada should pull out of Afghanistan and only sends "development aid"? Engineers and money and airdrops? What good is that? What if others were to do the same? What good would development aid do when there is no reasonable society to spend it on. Right now, for the dollar we spend, 50 cents will do good. Why not in the future that the dollar we spend does 90 cents of good, or more? If we allow Hamid Karzai to fight and be overwhelmed by the poppy farmers of Afghanistan and their militants, then our dollar will do no good. It will lead to the spoilage of a country and it will become as it was before 9/11 - a corrupt country ruled by those with despotic power and access to wealth.
I'm not saying that the following is a reason to stay in, but it certainly would help to put Canada on the map for every other country. Think about places like Belgium and the Netherlands - when they think of Canada, they see the saviours who rode tanks as they vanquished the Nazis. Will not Afghanistan feel the same as we vanquish it of the evil corruption that cancers the land? There isn't a huge emphasis on the war on drugs anymore, ever since the war on terror took the spotlight, but why can't both go hand in hand? Why do we allow modern day Khun Sa(link) to exist?
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Hobo Stripper - Simply an awesome show of justice, stripper style. It's basically a blog about a girl who lives out of her van and goes from place to place to strip. Why? She just likes to. It's almost refreshing to see such candor although it's not something that we're all ready to accept. She needs the money, not for drugs or for whatever, but just because she wants to live. It's not like she's raking it in and she doesn't really have assets, but c'mon. It's quite incredible that one has the boldness to pursue what they want, throwing caution and sensibility to the wind.
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Of difficult people and the judgement of others. I got a double brush-off by a friend of mine a little while ago and, while it bugs me, I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. Why is that? As a friend, I've been thinking a lot about my difficult friends. People who have been a LOT of work and yet, for some reason, haven't made things easier over time. Nay, instead it's like I'm climbing an ever asymptotic slope in vain where I won't ever hit a plateau, or maybe I've already hit it and this is as far as I'm going to get - this is my stop. For me, it seems like I have to ask the question "Do I want to continue this? To get to know them more? To have myself in their life? Do I want to create opportunities?" Things are sadly not pointing towards the positive, realistically. I could say, "What if they change? Maybe they'll notice they're being total douches and come to acknowledge and change!" but the naivity of that is slowly fading away and I'm becoming weary of the redundancies of pointless friendships. My Christlike imitation is running out of grace for the unrepentant. The frivolity of their hyperventilation and emotional spasms have run weak and thin while their attitude is superior and haughty. What joy does this give me and what am I bereft of? It pains me to think it, but I'm going to be cutting it off if there is no positive change. The thing is that these friendships, or any friendship in general, while it will be difficult and uneven, they become worthwhile in the end as people begin to reshape themselves for each other. I suppose we'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll end up getting another drunk phone call and sobbing apology.
Onto judgement. There's someone I know who's a friend of a pretty good friend. They're a reasonably nice person who I've always thought to be commendable and have done what I can to get to know them. I say "what I can" to infer that I've tried to talk and email them but without a reply, it's not really going to happen. I found out why a little while ago. It's because my OWN friend (our common friend) vents to this person when I'm not around ABOUT me because I do things (purposefully or not) that grate on their nerves. I get the feeling that I won't ever really be able to become friends with any of THEIR friends. What bugs me is that if this person were actually worth their salt, they would be strong and discerning enough to see whether someone is worthy by their own right from their own eyes rather than living off the testimony of their friends. It's the type of person who would assume that things are wrong because they're told it's wrong compared to the type of person who would look at the picture and realize that it's wrong for "this reason" or "that". I'm appalled by this person now and I have to hold my tongue on my opinions that they have judged me because of anothers words. It's poor form. If I say I find someone creepy, I find it small minded if you don't find out they're creepy on your own and instead merely trust my opinion. This isn't a restaurant issue, this is a real situation where you can't brush someone off because they have a bad rep with a few of your crew. People are worth more than what others think of them. Jesus didn't go to save humanity because we're worthy of being saved - he did it in spite of all the trash that comes with us. Something that we have to fix on our own.
Quick Summary post for January. Not really about things I've done because I don't really do anything anymore. Life's busy now that I have a job. Oh, I really like Rock Band? How's that. I like it so much that I downloaded the songlist to learn the songs so I can sing them. I'm at a Hard/Expert level so far - not bad for someone who doesn't own the game, but then, I am totally willing to travel far and wide and neglect others for the game. Yes, I've gone to a friend of a friends house at 1AM to play. FOUR ALARM AND THE LOAF DOGS!
TTC Profitability The TTC... a wonderful social institution that should have been privatized a long time ago. FOr me, I think public transit is a noble endeavor, it's something that helps to bring people together and encourages enviromental thinking. It's the type of thing that we all should do sometimes - but in the Greater Toronto Area, it's almost like they don't want you to take it. I live in the suburbs and I can honestly admit it, I live pretty darn far from the city. On a good day with a ton of speeding and no traffic, it would still take just under 30 minutes to hit the water. On NORMAL days, it takes me close to an hour to get to my brothers place down in the beaches area. So why am I talking about this? I take public transit to work now. I GO train down to Union and walk the rest of the way, then TTC up to Finch station to meet my mom. On some days, I don't meet my mom and have to bus up from the station. Basically this means that on some days, I use all three of the available transit systems. Why is it that the whole system operates as a social benefit for jobs and not a consumer focused organization? Why can't they focus on providing a service where the people will choose to Ride the Rocket instead of trying to find ways about it, but in the end are forced to end up on it? It's like the provision of jobs for those employed by the TTC organization is the primary goal, and we the riders are merely secondary tools for that end.
Anyways, I digress. Back to the initial concept. Can the TTC be profitable? I personally, from a consumer's perspective, don't think so. At most, the average consumer can spend about 100 bucks/month on the TTC. Ridership is "up" but barely anywhere close to what it can be. Why is that? Because as people get older, they begin to carpool or buy their own cars. They move to the suburbs and Go Train downtown. The TTC has become obsolete and irrelevant as it can barely maintain itself much less expand operations. So it's about 100/month for the metropass, what are your other options? If you What are the pros and cons to the TTC? Pros are that it's responsibility free, you get on, you sit there and you wait til you're at your location. It's a community where you get to interact, if even a little by offering your seat to an older person (or a gimp... or a pregnant lady... or a marathon runner who can't use his legs - HIMYM reference!). Cons include that you have to wait. It's a dirty hole of a vehicle, whether by bus or subway, although it's much more pleasant than other cities I've been to. You have to stand there or sit there awkwardly as you stare at other people or out the darkened windows of the street foundations. Just the atmosphere isn't pleasant and you have to be around people who might not be all that pleasant to be around. So are the cons that much bearable when you can spend a little more to lease a car? I suppose without the responsibility, there's a sense of peace of mind as well by taking the transit - but is that really worth it? When I save up, I will have to make that decision. Of course, this is all bearing in mind that I live in the burbs at the moment.
How do Superheroes fly? Have you ever thought about this? I can't be the only one who's thought about this impossibility. So gravity is constantly bombarding us with the motion to be pulled into the earth and so, when we jump we will land because we can't constantly emit energy to get away from the earth (the jump is to be considered a burst that quickly fades as we reach "maximum altitude" and land). So how do Superheroes do it? Can superheroes who fly (like Superman - not including Martian Manhunter who can change cellular physiology) emit a constant upward thrust from their cells? Are they really light? It's impossible for Superman to change his weight but yet, he can fly and float when he wants to as shown in different comics and cartoons. So lets assume he can emit it from his feet, thus, he remains airborne. Why is it that he can't use those "force emitting" feet to fight things or push things over? Sort of like a "super kick" that pushes things over with the flats of his foot. I'm sorry to demystify the whole idea but the science behind it can't hold. I know what you're going to say, "It's make believe" but everything at least has a somewhat mysterious background to it at the very least. Things, by a nerd's standard, can't simply stand as acceptable as that. Things have to have logic and common sense applied to it or else everything sorta falls apart. If they all of a sudden eliminated the concept of gravity from comics, what would that become? Even the far fetched things (One year later or M-Day) have some sort of acceptable premise.
The drug of the future Okay, maybe not the future but it'd be really useful to have in our current age. I was at Garrys and he was having some weird upward gas and I mentioned it, creating a slight misunderstanding about it - then we commented that an antiflatulent (the idea coming from an antinauseant) would be the ultimate drug for today. Screw erections and puke to the gravols (okay maybe not the Gravols - i use those pretty often), the end of the gas out of your rear end - THAT would be wikked. Think about the potential that it could have! You could take it if you're an old person (the elderly are often very flatulent), you could take it if you have an important meeting, you could take it before a big date or heck, every day use with milk since a lot of Asians are (at least semi) lactose intolerant. The sheer usefulness would reap benefits! Spam emails would never ask if a male needs a hardon or an extension, it would ask all people of all gender, culture and creed the same thing - "Stop harassing with your gas!" or "Be smart about your fart!" Seriously. They make it and life brand or some other company rips it off... and BAM. What a market! It has a lot of potential.
Oh Garrys place is pretty nice. His place is all about the location, location, location! Very decent location, although not on the subway line, it's on York Mills.
Warning, I'm about 10 minutes in and I'm only visible in the background while they interview him. It was from the time I saw him speak at UT for some Chapters/Indigo thing about his new book.
Some videos The Funniest Cantonese comedian
Oh he's not quite your average Cantonese yellow fellow though. His Cantonese is immaculate and he's definitely raised in the area but he's 100% totally... well. I won't ruin it. If you understand Cantonese, you'll like it. Personally, I had to get the jokes translated but I was amused.
Radiohead - Scotch Mist
Radiohead's In Rainbows has done exceptionally well, artistically and "commercially" (by that, I mean worldwide distribution - not necessarily sales since they DID give it away for a while) and this is their New Years Eve special. It's true what they say about Radiohead, you might not get it the first few times you listen but it's so nice after you begin to groove into it. I only LIKED it before, from random songs from Pablo Honey, OK Computer or The Bends or the others, but with In Rainbows, I'm totally comfortable. I don't even know how to say it, but I like Radiohead.
Jaeson Ma
Pretty awesome. There's a part two. For someone who's sort of out of the church culture thing, it's still wonderful to see God working in our campuses.
I find I don't read blogs anymore and I think I'd like to. How do I set up an RSS feed that sends a compilation to my email? I like how Xanga is all right there for me to read in My Yahoo (my old school email from grade 9). I've sortof got it to work but I can't seem to get it to work with some of my friends pages. It's so tough to click through some of them.
